The world's only Olympic Wanker, Jeremy "Man Gravy" Bromfield has announced his retirement from wanking this morning. In a statement I made up, he says the pressures of work and home life have finally got to him, and he feels he can no longer keep up the pace we had all become acustomed to. Speaking from his home in Colchester (to a lamppost at first, due to his poor eyesight), he said "I've got a bird now innit and she is called Brian and I love her and we have sex and everything".All we can say here at The Wanky Times is, good luck Jezzer, you monkey-molesting, armpit-licking, toe jam-guzzling, zit-nibbling, arse-faced anal buccaneer! The world of wanking won't be the same without you!!
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